Frustrations from blanket statements

Today I was chatting with my meta on FB messenger and we got onto the topic of some posts in the poly groups we’re on that center on hierarchical relationships. We talked about the mutual frustration we feel about the blanket generalizations some people have about these types of relationships. It was nice to vent about it and know that it was not just me. While I absolutely understand where most people are coming from, I have had some interactions with couples that are unicorn hunting and couples privilege (CP). I have been dumped because of CP. It still frustrates me to read about other’s just not even wanting anything to do with people that are in these types of relationships.

I am trying to figure out why it would bother me so much. I mean, if I am so open minded why does it bother me what other people think about a relationship style that I ascribe to? Who knows! I am not there yet. :p

It doesn’t always bother me. Most people have valid reasons for thinking the way they do. I just want them to see my side too I guess. I mean, I have had bad experiences with men & women who were single and thought they could be poly but didn’t want to actually put in the work. I would absolutely be out of the dating pool if I blamed all men and all women for the way a few (more than a few I guess) have treated me.

But, I cannot make other people think like I do. I can only make me think like I do. And try to see their point of view and be understanding of why they think like that. Like I have been. 🙂

Melancholy Birthday

Today is my youngest brother’s birthday. I have grown more and more melancholy as the day has gone by. I miss my family the most is at times like this. I remember not how far apart we are now, but how close we were when we were little smidgeons of terror. I miss my little bro. We are so alike in temperament. We used to be able to sit down and talk about all the things we wanted to do in life. He was easy to counsel when we were tiny and I thought I was the best bigger sis in the world by conversing with him instead of yelling at him.

Nowadays, we are so different. He seems to dislike me very much for moving away from Texas and most of the family. He keeps himself apart, as do I. Most of our conversations are stilted and very brief.

But I miss him. Little him. As much as I miss a little bit of little me. It was simpler times in a life long ago & far away.

DIY Planner Parties

They are a thing. An actual thing. AND a group of my friends in the Scout’s actually have planner parties. I have FB RSVP’d for the next one. What are these? Are they cultish? haha

Seriously, I feel like it is something that I will either love or hate. I am looking forward to it and looking forward to the ideas I can implement in creating my own personal planner. Will I have to buy a bigger purse to lug around now? I hope not. I want one but I am pretty addicted to my phone calendar and I already have a wall calendar for family stuff. So, what would I need a personal planner for?

I was told, many, many other things. Some of the ladies keep a list of things they want to buy, like books or shopping lists. Some of the ladies keep a planner for cleaning, some keep one for just keeping their life in order. I hope I am able to grab or make one of those kinds of planners. My life sometimes feels super disorganized and sometimes it feels like if I survive in somewhat chaotic organization. And the cleaning planner could be nice as a bonus. It will help me to keep my home clean since almost everyone of my children seems incapable of sustaining a clean environment. :p

To say that I am looking forward to this event is an understatement. I am excited. Also leery. I have never made a planner before and am not sure I am up to the task. I am willing to try but when I think of shopping for planner stuff I feel overwhelmed. Pinterest is crazy with diy planner ideas. I am most looking forward to seeing what types of planners everyone else has made. What seems to work most for other’s and what seems to not be working at all.

Never did I think I would be going to a diy planner party. Yet, here I am. Adventurous me…

Holidays Are Coming…

Holidays are the best and they are the worst. And they can be one, both or teeter totter between bad and good. For me at least. Growing up I absolutely loved the holidays. Halloween is still my favorite Holiday, mainly because we get to dress up as anyone we want. I loved all the food we got to eat on Thanksgiving and well, who doesn’t like Christmas presents. And food.

I still like Halloween. I love making the costumes for the minions, or watching them make their own. It’s an adorable sort of hecticness. And, asking for candy. I actually like it. It creates lasting memories for all of us involved. The “bad thing” on the short lists of bad things about Halloween is the candy. We don’t eat much and usually forget about it after a week or so. We have found bags of candy later on the next year when we’re cleaning something or other. We hand the younger kiddos some at first. The older ones get a bit when they ask. We don’t intentionally not eat it. We just forget for the most part.

I miss making the turkey on Thanksgiving. I miss cooking on Thanksgiving period. I really used to look forward to it. It is a hectic and super stressful time but so very worth it at the end. I like seeing what everyone else brings because it seems like this is the best time to bring that one dish that you want to share the most with the people you love. It also is being around the family. The good and the bad family. For myself, I don’t have family around me here, so it’s all my husband’s family. It isn’t bad as long as I don’t comparethe way my family is and the way his family is.

Same during Christmas. Plus the presents. I miss eating tamales and warm weather the most for Christmas. I grew up in Texas, southern parts where it doesn’t snow. I miss that but for the most part I don’t. Still, wouldn’t change it for anything. Being around loved ones and family during the holidays comes with the good and all the bad. That’s what family is all about. It’s what brings us together in the bad times and in the good times. It’s what makes us family. And I love that.

Blah-ness

I was unable to write for a while. I have been feeling really down. Not depression wise, just feeling a lot of blah-ness. But, I like writing and have missed it so figured, If I continue to write I will start feeling less blah.

It has been an interesting time currently in America lately. I am worried about myself and my loved ones. My friends, my colleagues and just people in general that are different like me.

Writing will help me get through a lot in the coming future.

Craziness

My husband is going to school and he is trying to keep working his 40 hrs at work. Or as close to 40 hrs as he can get. I work part time at the spa. It is pretty much customary for all Massage Therapists to work part time. Some work more, some less. Most work some form of part time. Why? Because we do a lot of intensive and physical labor. So, I work part time. The rest of the time I am the house Commander.

This means, I pick up and drop off all 3 kids from school M-F. I take them to appointments and I do shopping as needed. I make dinner and give baths. I wash laundry and try to keep the house semi clean. Sometimes I excel, most times I just keep things barely going.

My husband tries to help as much as he can. He takes the trash out and folds laundry. He goes to school M-T and works M-F. He leaves home around 6am, works as much as he can and gets home around 7:30 each night. Sometimes he gets to have a few minutes with the kids before they go to bed. Most times he kisses the sleeping heads of the younger two and tells a quick “I love you, goodnight kiddo” to our oldest before she goes to her room.

It is rough going around here right now. But, we won’t quit and we know it is for the best. School wont last forever and when he is done, he will have many more opportunities for the job he loves. This will, ultimately, benefit us all.

For now, Friday evening and Saturday’s are our unwinding and family days. We go to the park sometimes, we clean, we bond and we do family stuff. For as crazy as things can get, it works.

Metamours

A metamour is someone who is involved with one of your partner’s, but not you. That is the definition for me and what I’ve noticed for people I meet and talk to.

Currently I have two meta’s. They are dating my husband. And I am, thankfully, pretty good friends with both of them. One is raising their child with her two live-in partner’s. The other is married, no children. I have play dates with one, do friend things with both.

We’ve gone painting, to movies, dinners, clubbing, parties, family socials. Pretty much everything. They are pretty neat ladies and pretty much how I had hoped to be with any meta I happened to have. We are somewhat similar in some things but, naturally, also have our own individualities.

I think that the similarities help us to get along, while the not so similar things help us see things in differing perspectives and also get along.

I have enjoyed getting to know them. We rarely hang out as a trio but mainly because we have such different schedules. One of us works nights, one is a SAHM and one of us works days. We do try to hang out and text with each other because we like our friendships.

I like having these two ladies as my friends, more so than I thought I would. This is a great side effect of being poly. You meet great people whom you don’t have to hide a part of who you are and can become friends. 🙂